Almost

...over!

Tomorrow is my last final for this semester and then I can enjoy the summer.

I am wishing for sitting out by the pool

Playing Frisbee golf in the park

Hiking in the trees

Playing with Puppybutt and her new friends at the dog park

Barbecues and sitting on the porch with friends

I am not looking forward to; working weird hours, being left out, being stressed about school in the fall, waiting for my grades, allergies and all this wind, super-hot summer and no air conditioning in my car, sitting outside in the heat and sun watching baseball games with people who I barely tolerate, weeding the front yard, the pool being over crowded, being self conscious in a bathing suit.

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

I fight structure but I also need it and thrive in a loose structure, where I can change things if need be but that have specific routines I can measure as achievement. I plan obsessively, now if I could just follow up with all my long lists.

I do best when I have a general idea of a plan. Dear Hubby on the other hand is very spontaneous, he dislikes planning and I swear his favorite answers to the question “What are we doing today?” is “we’ll see” or my favorite “whatever”. I do love that he is laid back but honestly, sometimes I need and want to know what is happening and in what order.

Normally this is just a small pet peeve that balances all the other wonderful things about him. He is generous, funny, patient, kind but has smelly feet and thinks that carrying on a conversation while he is using the bathroom isn’t inappropriate. What can I say, I love him.

Back to not making plans: it becomes obvious during the holidays how flexible Dear Hubby is and how inflexible I can be at heart. He doesn’t fight that we don’t see the Rapscallion on Christmas Day, instead we get him on Christmas Eve. I know the reasons we don’t fight, so I wanted to make Christmas Eve SUPER-DUPER special!!! With Cherries, sprinkles and whipped cream on top, but guess what, that can be really difficult when the only answer you get is “whatever” “around 11, I guess” and “we will play it by ear”. How am I ever going to be the best stepmother in the world if I can’t plan on making cookies, going to the movies, playing in the snow, making his favorite dinner, going to church, singing Christmas carols, going to Grandma and Grandpa’s, taking the dog to the dog park, and basically scheduling the heck out of every minute of the 12 hours I get to spend with the kid?!?

So of course, everything that I planned fell out the window when Dear Hubby's mountain bike ride that morning took longer than expected and we didn't the Rapscallion exactly at 11. We took our time and went to see The Squeakquel, he loved it and ate a large popcorn to himself. We went to church where he sang carols and tried to copy my mother as she was on stage interpreting the songs in Sign Language. We went to Grandpa and Grandma’s where he entertained everyone with his enthusiasm for carefully unwrapping each gift he received. Despite all my planning the day was perfect and Dear Hubby sat back and enjoyed each moment.

I hate when he is right.

The Cost of Saving Money

I didn’t want to spend the money to have my hair professionally colored before my sisters wedding (Kerri, if you are reading this you might want to stop here) ETA: The wedding is Saturday and yes, Kerri is my hair dresser. My patient, wonderful, hair dresser who puts up with me cutting my own bangs and normally coloring my own hair (she did it for a while and it was always wonderful, I don't know why I stopped having her do it) anyway...

I have colored my hair at home on and off for years, I have had some disasters but in the past few years things have turned out fairly well. I have been using Natural Instincts in a color called Cinnamon Stick. It is close to my natural hair color, just a little nicer.

For the wedding I decided to go a bit darker, to bring out my eyes. I bought 2 boxes of hair color in a dark brown, it turn BLACK with weird ashy/green tones to it. So I washed it for a couple of days but it wasn’t lightening.

Last night I decided to fix it (I know, I know, I should have just called Kerri then) I went to find hair color remover, I had used a product called Color Oops in the past and it was great, it reverses the oxidation process and takes the color deposits out of your hair. I couldn’t find it and used another hair color remover, which was a bleach based. My hair turned funky orange with yellow roots; I washed it out quickly once I saw what it was doing. This morning, I tried using the Cinnamon Stick again, thinking that I would just go back to my normal hair color.

Nope, now I have brownish hair with orange’ish roots, it is a great look.

So now I have a dilemma, do I go out and find the Color Oops, get all the hair color out of my hair and then use a permanent hair color in a lighter brown shade to cover up all the damage (and pray that Kerri forgives me when she sees what I have done) or do I bite the bullet and have Kerri fix my hair? I don’t really have the money to have my hair professionally colored (it would be around $75+) the best part:

2 Boxes of Dark Brown Hair Color $8
1 Box of Bleach Hair Color Remover $12
2 Boxes of Semi-Permanent Cinnamon Stick $16
1 Box of Color Oops $14
2 Boxes of Golden Brown $17
Total = $67 + tax and stress

I maybe saved $8, maybe, what a joke at saving money I am!

Distance and Perspective

I haven't written and alot has happened but I needed to gain distance and perspective before I could post. After leaving a friends house two weeks ago Thursday night I ended up hitting a median when my water bottle spilled. I was not aware at that moment but I had busted a hole in my oil pan. I kept driving and about a mile up the street the car started making a weird noise, I pulled over off the road and then the engine seized. Did I mention that it was 1 in the morning? Did I also mention that I was in an area of town that I don't want to be stranded in at one in the morning? I called my dear husband who came to pick me up. While he was driving us home at 2 in the morning he was pulled over for a speeding ticket.

So now my life is a battle with the insurance company, they don't want to cover the damage because they say I left the scene of the accident, remember I didn't know I had damaged the car this badly. I feel insanely terrible about this, I just don't have luck with cars. If the insurance company won't pay for the damage I am afraid that we will not be able to afford to repair the car. The car isn't paid off yet, I feel sick just typing this and thinking about the potential damage to our already shaky credit score.

My anxiety has been through the roof this last week, my husband and I have been at each others throats fighting about the most inane things because of the stress. Last week it seemed like every day was another drama or another stress added to the pile. I physically didn't know how much more I could handle.

During all of this I had my Weight Watchers meeting last Thursday, I only gained a pound. Not too bad since I was not tracking my points the way I should have been. I have moved up a notch on belt. I have been feeling a little under the weather but I think that is mostly leftover stress.

The biggest issue from all this is learning that I maybe share too much information about myself with too many people, who then feel the need to tell me how they believe I should be living my life. It is so silly but too often I still feel like a child when I talk to my parents, I guess I am still seeking their approval when I should be concentrating on my life and my family. I guess I need a little distance and perspective on that before I can post on that topic further.