Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Bestowed Honor

I have been awarded the opportunity to share 7 things about myself with you from Amy I didn't know awards came with homework and this one sounds eerily familiar to one of those chain letter text messages but since I heart her I will play along.

#1. I was home schooled from the time I was in 2nd grade until I went into Jr. High. Homeschooling was great and I got to know alot of people from very different backgrounds. We met once a week with a homeschooling group so we could get socialization, we would work on group projects and go on field trips. The worse series was learning about decomposition, it involved burying trash in a stocking and digging it up each week to see how everything was decomposing. After that we took a field trip to the city dump, first we visited the collection facility where we discovered they spray the trash everyday with a different scent to cover the stench. Mondays were apple, Tuesday was grape, Wednesdays were orange, and so on throughout the week. In the collection facility it worked, a little. Then we headed to the main dump where I discovered that fruit scented trash smells even worse when you combine all the fruit smells and leave it outside in the 110 degree Las Vegas heat.

#2. I have two different colored eyes, it is called heterochromia. Mine is the result of an eye surgery I had when I was 7 to have a cataract removed from my right eye. The injury to the eye caused my eye to change colors. My left eye is blue and my right eye is green. Depending on what I am wearing and how much eye makeup I have on it can seem very drastic. Kate Bosworth, David Bowie, Jane Seymour, Kiefer Sutherland, Christopher Walken, Dan Ackroyd and Mila Kunis are some celebrities that also have heterochromia.

#3. I collect owls because I feel like you have to have something you collect. It makes gift giving easier for those around you and if you don't specify what you collect you are the gift giving mercy of those around you. I picked owls because I kept getting cat stuff, I love cats and Cat Butt but I am working hard against the idea that I will become a crazy cat lady when I get older. Owls also fit into my favorite decorating scheme, which is things your grandma would have liked.

#4. I didn't like my best friend when I first met her, we were 15 and my parents had just started going to a new church. Most of the kids were friendly but they were all "cowboys" when I met Bean she was this tall, blue-eyed, blond dressed completely preppy. I thought she was lame and later I found out she thought I was freak. That picture was taken the first day we attended the new church. I was wearing green crochet thigh-high fishnets with ripped black tights underneath. My hair was fire engine red and I know I was wearing combat boots.

In the beginning of my Sophomore year in High School I got into a fight with a girl a good foot taller than me, I was suspended and that evening I went to church with my parents. Something was mentioned about the fight and Bean asked who I got into the fight with, turns out she didn't like the girl either. We have been friends for 15 years now, she is best friend a girl could ask for. I am truly lucky to have her in my life.

#5. When I was a kid I read a set of Encyclopedias, it was the World Book. A few years ago I read a set of Funk and Wagnall encyclopedias that Bio Mom's mom gave me and I am gearing up to read a set of Encyclopedia Britannica that I rescued from the trash men. I am a store of useless knowledge.

#6. I am a dumpster diver and I love to thrift store shop, I am prouder of the things I have that have been rescued, found and redone than I am of the few things I have that were purchased. I love items that have a story to tell. I like things that are interesting and it is huge thing to me to not appear like everyone else. I pride myself on my individuality, I am not like everyone else but I like who I am.

#7. I am very insecure about my writting, I am very insecure about alot of things but especially about my writting and this blog. I never know from day to day if I want everyone to read it or if I want to hide it but ultimately I continue to write because I feel like I have to challenge myself to express who I am and not to hide away from the world.

So now I bestow the honor of this award on to:


Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Envy is a Waste of Time

Envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own. ~Harold Coffin

Envy and Jealousy, we all experience these emotions but not all of us react negatively when they rear their heads in our lives.

When envy and jealously become an issue in custody situations they often have roots in control issues. Bio Mom has some control issues that I have observed in my dealings with her over the last 6 years.

She is currently frustrated by Dear Hubby’s unwillingness to compromise any further with her on the issue of the Rapscallion playing outside. She would like the Rapscallion to be under “constant parental supervision” Dear Hubby feels that the Rapscallion will be 8 in November and that we need to start giving him more responsibility. We live in a gated community with 24 hour security so as difficult as it is to let this little kid who I know is scared of the dark and still sleeps with a toy monkey, this little kid who can’t possibly be growing up that quickly, this little kid who still needs help cutting his meat, as difficult as it is to let him test his wings I know we need to. I also know that in giving him more freedom he will mess up, he will make mistakes and it is our job as parents to teach him when those mistakes happen, not to shelter him from them forever.

Bio Mom disagrees vehemently and since we live in the same community she has been aware that the Rapscallion has been given more freedom at our house. Last week he got into a spot of trouble for throwing rocks, when Dear Hubby told Bio Mom about the situation she told us this is how all juvenile delinquents start and if we allow him to continue to play outside with the neighborhood kids it is only a matter of time until “he starts smoking weed” Dear Hubby refused to compromise any further with her, the Rapscallion is only allowed to play with friends we know and has to check in every 15 minutes, Bio Mom moved on to attacking me.

In the same statement she said I was lazy and slept until noon everyday while the Rapscallion ran around doing “whatever he wants” and that I am too involved and that I should not be taking the Rapscallion to the library, volunteering in his classroom, helping him with his reading or taking him to get frozen yogurt.

While I find her statements laughable now, I was very defensive when Dear Hubby told me everything that was said. I wish I could sleep until noon, the Rapscallion wakes up at the butt crack of dawn, and I am not a morning person so I have taught him to pour himself a bowl of cereal. Apparently not waking up the instant he is awake to pour him a bowl of cereal is sleeping until noon. Also if I was sleeping until noon how is it I am doing all of these things with him?

There was quite a bit more to this argument, she said I was trying to intimidate her when I went to the schools Open House, apparently showing up on time with clean clothes on is now a threat. She wants me to no longer be involved in the Rapscallions life and schooling. When Dear Hubby pointed out that she could be involved also her response was that she “works 40 hours a week” (not counting that she bowls until noon on Mondays, I guess)

In her arguments it was easy to see that her envy is based in that I am a stay at home stepmother, what she isn’t seeing is how I didn’t ask to do this; I am just making the best of what I was given. I was laid off from a big box retailer and the job market has been difficult to find a job. I have often found myself envious of Bio Mom’s ability to get a job but she has training I don’t. Instead of becoming bitter about it I enrolled in school to get the training I will need to be able to get a better job.

Envy and jealousy don’t have to make you ugly, but then again it is up to you what you do with them.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Brain Fog

I am experiencing brain fog right now, I have started a diet plan from my doctor and as my body gets used to the changes, I am finding that my brain is moving slowly, so slowly, I think molasses moves faster than my brain this morning.

I am allowed to drink caffeine but I am trying to moderate that, today I fell off the wagon and drank 1/2 a rockstar. I can drink coffee with non-dairy creamer and splenda but I am not a huge coffee fan, that is what happens when you worked for a coffee shop and drank your lifetime allotment in 4 months. I also can't stand the smell of coffee grounds and bleach, it is like experiencing a war flashback, I could hide under a desk and cry at the thought of another strung out coffee drinker yelling at me because I didn't drizzle the carmel the way they wanted it into their macchiato.

I digress, so the brain fog, today I felt like I had a white noise machine running in my brain all day. Every time I tried to concentrate on anything the white noise got in the way, I found myself sitting, starring off into space and daydreaming. Daydreaming is something I haven't done since I was quite a bit younger, I physically had to shake my head out of the clouds. It was so hard to get motivated and I remember why I started mainlining caffeine to begin with. I had to take the Rapscallion to the grocery store to pick up something for dinner and I made myself a little promise that if I got up and put on a clean shirt I would reward myself with a sugar-free rockstar (my doctor would like me to limit the amount of diet soft-drinks I consume) I drank half of it when I got home and I started to feel human again. I have the other half in the fridge and like a true addict I will probably drink it tomorrow morning, no matter how flat and terrible it tastes.
Of course since I was experiencing brain fog the Rapscallion woke up at 4:30 a.m. his friends dad had promised to take the boys to a BMX track to watch some of the local guys race. I didn't want to rain on his parade but I haven't seen anyone in this family wake up before 10 in the morning on most days. They are nice people, just not morning people and certainly not up at the butt crack of dawn like Dear Hubby and the Rapscallion. On most mornings the Rapscallion is up at 7, over summer vacation nothing has changed and I have had to restrain him from going to his friends houses to see if they can come out and play until 9:30 in the morning. This morning the Rapscallion was up at 4:30 asking if he could get dressed in case friends "Dad calls, I want to be ready" they were supposed to call at 7:30 if they were going to go and finally at 8 I let him go over to see if they were awake and of course they weren't. He was disappointed but unfortunately the Rapscallion is accustomed to people making promises and backing out on them so he took it in stride. It was a long day, here's hoping tomorrow is better!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


I love how fresh and fruity this one turned out!

Those flower stickers were on clearance, I love the way they look painted on!

These cards are so much fun!

I have been making some handmade cards to mail out, I love getting something in the mail that isn't junk mail or another bill. I started out making a thank-you card for the Rapscallions teacher but I didn't take a picture of that one. After that I was on a roll and having a blast as I thought about each friend and where their card would travel. I took the Rapscallion with me to buy stamps, I needed 5 international stamps and 1 Canadian stamp, it was fun to tell him about the places the cards were going to go.
This is just a few of the ones I made, I hope to make even more this week to send out.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Meet Puppy Butt!

This is Penelopi "Penni" our new little fur-baby. She is a 1/2 corgi 1/2 deer head chihuahua. We adopted her from a shelter on Sunday, we are still learning about her personality so I imagine I will have alot more to share about her in the coming weeks.

Cat Butt is less than thrilled about this new addition to our family. but she will live. Cat Butt has been around dogs before (when I was an unfit cat mother and she had to go live my parents) and Penni, from here on known as Puppy Butt, has no interest in Cat Butt.