Making Friends and Influencing People

Yesterday was my first day back in school, I am taking my English requirement this semester, and it is a 5 credit class which means a lot of work for yours truly. I was nervous going into class; I haven’t been in school in almost 10 years. I was afraid of being one of the oldest and maybe the only one in the class who honestly doesn’t know the correct usage for a semicolon. I can’t remember the parts of speech beyond what I help the Rapscallion with and he is only in second grade. I write like I talk and it is only through the magic of Microsoft Word that my grammar is anything close to being correct.

I arrived at the campus early so I could purchase my textbook and find the classroom, I stopped at the help desk to get a hard copy of my schedule and I found out that the college still has me listed by my last name from when I was married to Whatshisface, so tomorrow I have to bring a copy of my divorce decree from Whatshisface and my marriage license to Dear Hubby (ladies this is why you should NOT change your name when you get married) to have my name corrected in the system. I found my classroom pretty easily; I glanced through the textbook, looks like it is all written in English and finally went into the room about 10 minutes before the class was to start.

The dilemma of where to sit, all the seats in the back were full, plus lets all admit I don’t mind being the center of attention but sitting in the front row would single me out as a nerd. An old, returning to college after 10 years, semiliterate, know-it-all nerd and we all know there is nothing worst than fulfilling your worst ideas about yourself. Luckily I found an open desk near the middle of the room.

The Professor, who has told us we can call him Steve so I will now refer to him as Professor Steve, was running late. When he came into the room I assumed he was another student, he was wearing cargo shorts and a t-shirt with a Spam logo on it. He looked older than me but not by much, now here is where I reveal how shallow I am, I always check out peoples shoes. You can tell so much by them, his shoes were kind of ratty old Vans but the biggest thing I noticed was that he was wearing 2 different shoes. 2 different colored shoes, I should explain; 1 black with a white stripe and a white sole, the other grey with a white stripe and a rubber sole.

He started class telling us a little bit about what we would be studying this semester; he then opened the floor for questions. He said we could ask him any question we wanted, so you know what I asked right.

Turns out he didn’t know he was wearing 2 different shoes, I guess I better proofread every essay I turn in this semester.