First Time Mother, Second Time Parent.

I get all sorts of attention with my Little One, being a first time mother is overwhelming. First for me was the realization that I was completely in love with this other being and WHOA, my mother felt the same way about me. It makes all the bad decisions I have made in my life sting just a little bit. But it makes me understand the answer to the question of "Why?" with "Because I love you." I understand now.

Second while I am a first time mother I am second time parent. You see that gangly little boy over there? Yeah, he isn't as "cute" as the Little One right now, he has scraped up knees and his feet seem too large for his body. He is almost as tall as me but weights like 70 pounds soaking wet. Currently he sports a fo-hawk and only wears skate shoes. He doesn't like girls yet but has a best friend who might as well move in because I hardly ever see one without the other. The Kidlet is mine as well. I know it isn't this way for everyone. Plenty of stepmothers I know have such difficult relationships with their stepchildren or the biological mothers of their step kids that they hold back. I don't. I haven't ever had too, I am blessed and I know it.

The Kidlet has a mother, I am not her. I respect her position in his life and have never felt the need to usurp her. The Kidlet loves his mother, I want him too. I was taught that there is no such thing as too much love. So the Kidlet has a mother who loves him, a stepmother who loves him, a father who loves him and a stepfather who loves him. Along with the Little One and his other sibling and in the respective families, grandparents, aunts and uncles and this is one loved kid!

The Kidlet was 18 months old when I met Michael. He was just a rolly polly little guy, already running a million miles an hour and still wearing diapers. He had these big, blond curls and the biggest blue eyes you have ever seen, Little One has the same thing only her eyes aren't blue. He was in love with The Wiggles and I have forever memorized the words to Hot Potato.

I have been here through all kinds of firsts; potty training (but I will give all the credit to his mom for that) preschool, kindergarten, riding a bike before the age of 3, first concussion, lost teeth. Nightmares, friend problems, being teases, moving and making new friends. Haircuts, bad haircuts, out growing shoes, shoe fads, stinky shoes. Spongebob, Pokemon, Cars, skateboards, rip sticks, bikes and snowboards.

I have been here through all this and I will be here for all the other firsts; driving, dating, broken heart, graduation and with any luck I will get to be here when he becomes a parent and I will love his children with all the love I have shared with him. That is my blessing of being a first time mother but a second time parent.

and he loves his sister, which makes me love him even more